written by Terry Lacey printable version send your friend

Friday, 4 December 2009

The Swiss version of 20.12 has now happened. The world has almost ended. The Eiger has fallen over and landed on a minaret, by referendum. So they will have to move a mountain to put this right.

Similar results might happen in referendums in EU countries. But most EU member states do not have government by referendum. Two Austrian provinces have also banned minarets. (The Jakarta Post 02.12.09).

Indonesia’s largest Muslim mass organization the Nahdlatul Ulama (NU) has condemned the Swiss referendum decision to ban minarets.

 Masykuri Abdillah, deputy chairman of the NU said,

“We call on Indonesian Muslims not to take revenge over the decision. We should show them tolerance and freedom of religion.” (The Jakarta Globe, 01.12.09).

Indonesian activists have been searching for ways to respond to the Swiss politicization of minarets,  but not to take it out on church bells, (unfair to churches) or cowbells (unfair to cows).

One suggestion was to demand Switzerland leave the United Nations. But further research revealed they were not in it, perhaps on the grounds explained by Groucho Marx “ That he would never join any club that would have him as a member”.

Alternatively, since half the UN seems to be in Switzerland, Muslims could campaign for the UN to leave Switzerland, since Switzerland cannot leave the UN.

Indonesia will probably be the seventh or eighth largest economy in the world by about 2040 according to a recent special report from the Standard Chartered Bank.

And despite little ups and downs in Dubai, the Middle East still has about US$1.6 trillion in liquid assets that’s needs to be loved, invested and looked after.

But perhaps Muslim money would not be quite so loved in Switzerland as before the miniscule minarets went from being molehills to mountains. Funny how people like the money and not the minarets.

One suggestion would be to use growing Arab and Muslim economic power to buy Switzerland and then sell it to the European Union.

This would punish the Swiss by making them fill in an enormous number of forms, and comply with a lot of regulations, and they would have to withdraw the decision to ban more minarets as the European Court would not allow it.

The Swiss would then probably end up in an economic union with Turkey, which could mean even more kebabs, and perhaps more minarets. 

The alternative plan would be to sell Switzerland to the United States. But President Obama would be very unhappy about the minarets as this might hold up peace in the Middle East, and everywhere else.

The US Supreme Court would probably not allow the new member of the Union to maintain a ban on minarets. And the Swiss would be punished by having to support US debts for a very long time, as well as their own.

This would be a sadder end than joining the EU.

But following the Dubai debt problem its not certain if the Gulf States and Saudi Arabia could afford to buy Switzerland without help, unless they got a bridging loan from China, which might then want Switzerland to become part of China.

The other alternative would be for the Organization of Islamic Congress (OIC) to organize a huge tourism program to Switzerland providing special tours to see the latest endangered historical artefacts, the Swiss minarets.

Millions could come and see them, do special prayers, have picnics or eat in local restaurants (with perhaps a special minaret menu as part of the package) and buy souvenirs, including of course models of Swiss minarets to put on the bookshelves at home. This would be ideal for large families and school parties.

With Indonesian incomes rising, along with incomes all over the Muslim world, we would need some big new Boeing jets to fly the tourists in, plus reservations for Swiss hotels, Swiss railways and the chance to check out their Swiss bank accounts. In-flight commercials could stress the attractiveness of doing the tour of Swiss minarets and point to other tourist attractions along the way.

It could need a special terminal at Zurich airport if it became really popular, with due attention to Muslim dietary needs and perhaps some frescos of Swiss minarets on the walls. This would convey a more modern and outward looking approach towards minarets.

In the end the ban would make Swiss minarets world famous and desirable and everyone would want one. 

Then the Cantons with no minarets would get worried about the unfair distribution of minarets in Switzerland. Then the OIC should help them to build some.

 Terry Lacey is a development economist who writes from Jakarta on modernization in the Muslim world, investment and trade relations with the EU and Islamic banking.